equality · Feminism · Politics

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

Can I just say, I made myself a cup of tea and wrote a nice chilled blog. I’ve been aiming to be calmer because people trigger me so easily, it’s a flaw of mine. 

I guess it was short lived. I go on Twitter, and see things trending such as ‘Islamaphobia’ and find that we have a bunch of (mostly) white men saying they aren’t Islamaphobic…followed by an Islamaphobic comment.

I could scream people piss me off so easily.

Basically everything I see is, again usually white men, saying “this is political correctness gone mad.”

An example is the announcement of the thirteenth doctor. She’s female. And oh my god aren’t they pissed.

I used to be like them though. I used to think , “Jeeze, this political correctness is getting out of hand.” But then I realised. It’s not being political correct, it’s about being right and moral.

It’s not politically correct to give the LGBTQ community more rights. It’s fucking right and humane! It’s what we should be doing! 

The doctor is female. SO WHAT! It’s not politically correctness gone mad, it’s equality bitches!

Is your masculinity so fragile that you’re threatened by women have the same rights and opportunities as you.

A comment I see commonly is “are we going to get a >Insert female ‘J’ name here <Bond now?” Uhmm did I miss the movie where Bond regenerates and goes on time travel adventures?

Feminism, isn’t about wiping men out of everything. It’s about giving fair roles to women. If a woman can be strong and powerful, then why can’t she have that role. If its spwcificallg a dedicated male character, then yeah it’s going to stay a man.

We aren’t going to be seeing a Christina Grey or Holly Potter. Chill out. I wouldn’t want to see that happen either.

But the doctor, is able to change everything about him. The master became a woman. Time Lord’s don’t care about gender, sex, sexuality, none of that bullshit. SO why not have a female character.

We never had a female doctor before because women weren’t accepted in the past. No one would watch a series where the woman is the protagonist. From the reaction I can say it’s pretty obvious that feminism is still needed…

I hope the companion will be male. It will be nice to see a man het in trouble and need saving from the doctor. Won’t that piss you sexist misogynists off.

Of course being politically correct doesn’t mean you’re always right, but those who use it as an insult are most usually wrong. 

It’s not political correcteness. It’s being non racist, sexist, homophobic. It’s accepting and being fair. It that gets your dick in a twist then so be it, but this is the future. Where we don’t look down our noses at people for being different but instead we celebrate it!

I’m going to have to get another cuppa now 😏

-Hidden Shadows

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Lifestyle

Should you buy a cat or a dog?

A more care free post today…

So you want a pet but you don’t know what to get. Hopefully this post will give you some insight.

Dogs:

There are many breeds of dog. If trained well they should be obedient and loving. I have a black Labrador, she is so gentle and kind. Labs are one of the best breeds for family homes.

With dogs, you can train them however you like. We trained ours to not come upstairs and she has NEVER tried to. She is a little excitable when we get her leash out but other than that she is very relaxed. 

As a puppy, I recommend you cage train them or just have them in a cage/pen until they are potty trained. We gave her a section of the garden to use as a toilet (stone area) and she learned that is where she should go.

We feed her fresh meat from the butchers rather than tinned foods but that’s your choice. If you buy a puppy, don’t leave them alone too often, make sure you get all their vaccines and teach them early to be obedoamt on walks or they just pull constantly. Oh and make sure they respond to your calls, you don’t want to let them off their leash and them have them not come back. 

You should walk your dog 3 times a day and have her trained pretty early. We weren’t aware how much work a dog is, so don’t buy one with out researching! They need your attention just as much as a young child.

If you don’t want them sleeping on the furniture, give them a dedicated bed and teach the instruction ‘bed’. 

Cats:

I have 4 haha. In the past 5-7 years I’ve had 6 cats in total.

2 we bought (brother and sister) in 2010. We did intend to get two girls as males territorial pee. Of course mine turned out to be a boy but I love him just as much. Then the female had kittens, too cute to get rid of them all. Kept 2 (another male and a female) and have another to a family member. Sadly, the female was hit by a car The one we gave away had kittens and we got one of them (male). That got us back to 4 cats. 3 males and a female. 

The female would always growl and hiss at the other males, All except the brother she grew up with. I think it was mainly because 1 was her child and she wanted rid of him, the other was always trying to dominate her.

Sadly, the female died suddenly. No cause. Very young. A lot of cats can lice till they’re 18+. She was only 7. 

So a few weeks later we bought another female cat for my sister. She is…the most energetic kitten we’ve ever had.

She chases your legs as you walk, climbs up you, attacks your hands. Then 5 minutes later she’ll be purring in your lap. She is very loving but very playful. She is half bengal so we presume that may play a part as they are very energetic.

The others were tabby cats or fluffy black and white (all related ❤). They always had another kitten with them when growing up so they had someone else to keep them company. But our latest does not, which I think is why she has so much energy to waste on us. 

We’ve finally got the three males used to her. They no longer hiss or growl at her. She dives on them and they knock her to the ground with the tap if a paw, it’s hilarious.

With cats you can have them indoors or out. Outdoors, then you don’t have cat littler to clean up, you basically just need to leave some food out for them and  show them some love when they want it. 

Indoors, you’ll need cat litter and a tray. More toys for them to be entertained, and some people have their cats declawed so they don’t ruin furniture. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU PLAN ON LETTING THEM OUTSIDE, THEY NEED TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM OTHER CATS.

Both male and female cats may also pee around your home. A males smells stronger. They usually do it on washing you’ve left on the floor or under your bed. I’ve made sure to now never leave things on my floor, just incase, and there’s no way for them to get under my bed. I also recommend feeding them with separate bowls. One of my males like to shove the others out the way and eat as much as he can so the others can’t. Then he’ll be sick from eating so fast. He’s a little bitch.

If you have small children both are great, but small kittens are probably going to scratch and a puppy may bite. So be careful.

Cats are less work, you can leave them to do their own thing all day. A dog, they need more attention and walks. If you work, again a cat may be best. You can leave them home all day and you can give eachother some company and love when you return.

Raised right, both can be great pets 🙂

-Hidden Shadows

equality · Feminism

Should men win more custody battles?

I identify myself as a feminist, or I’m an aspiring one. For a lot of people it’s a bad thing. I have been attacked online for my views that women should be treat equally, however, I am aware that there are areas where we simply can’t be.

For example, Feminism wants to have more women working in areas such as plumbing or construction. However, a lot of women don’t actually aspire to be a plumber or builder and just because it is male dominant, that doesn’t make it a bad thing. We can mentally be equal. We can be paid equally. But physically, we aren’t naturally equal unless you’re a hard-core gym goer. If you’re a woman and you want to work in construction, then go for it! Don’t let anything hold you back.

When I say, “I’m a feminist” I am attacked by men mainly. They tell me I should be focusing on mens rights too if I truly want equality. In my opinion having both female and mens issues under one group cancels out the issues of both. But feminism is doing great at helping both! More homeless shelters for men and raising awareness that men can have emotions too, and so much more! Though a lot like to ignore this.

One issue that I hear so often is that if we truly want equality then men should be winning more custody battles.

However, I know it may seem unfair but I don’t think this should happen.

Naturally men are fitter and stronger. Women are naturally more maternal. In many cases, a child turns to their mother in need. Simply because it is built into us that mother’s will give us what we need. Women carry a baby for 9 months, they go through the pain of carrying it and then giving birth. This is not a man’s fault of course. But it’s simply fact that a mother make a bond way before most fathers. Most fathers truly make the bond when they’re born, there’s even scientific evidence that babies look more like their fathers upon birth so the male can bond quicker with the child (A study in nature, 1995). 

So when parents sadly divorce, women usually get the child and men see this as unfair. And it is, but it’s for the best of the child! Put your child first.

A mother is more maternal, taking her child away will be extremely painful to her. Men, usually, have work to keep the  busy, and while times are changing, women are usually the one’s with the children and no work. If the father wins custody, he is going to juggle work and a baby and the mother will have nothing. So in terms of work, it’s common sense for the mother to have the child.

Unless the mother is a bad parent, or the child is old enough (7+) to state their own opinions on who they want to live with, then the mother should have custody.

If you’re going through a divorce, I know it’s tough to feel like you’re losing everything, but the child’s wellbeing is what is most important.

If you honestly believe the mother is incapable of taking care of the child, then fight for your children but do what is truly best for them. Don’t rip their lives apart for the sake of spite.

-Hidden Shadows

equality · Feminism · Health · Sexual Health

Boots Charge Women £30 for Contraception

I’m sure a lot of you have heard. I am frankly, appauld. 

If you don’t know, Boots are selling the morning after pill (contraception for women) for £30, meanwhile stores such as Superdrug and Tesco are selling them at half the price.

If a woman has intercourse, and let’s say for the example, the condom broke. She would need the morning after pill. Put yourself in that womans shoes. Worried she may get pregnant, rushing out to buy the pills and finding they’re £30. People can’t afford that.

It’s also been shown how Boots are selling condoms half price currently. This isn’t a bad thing, but condoms are not 100%. They can’t promote sex then overcharge women when they need something in an emergency!

The outrage is clear on social media. Boots replied…

“We would not want to be accused of incentivising inappropriate use, and provoking complaints, by significantly reducing the price of this product”

So, they think it’s fine to promote sex but not helping women in need after sex? They’re saying, women can not be trusted to use contraception.  Oh I’m sorry Boots, I forgot women didn’t have brains and must rely on men to make sure we use things appropriately.

Even on the Boots website, there is a section for men dedicated to sexual health, however, for women there is no such thing. Are women’s sexual health not as important as mens? Because it doesn’t seem like it is to Boots.

Women are already taxed for just being a woman. Extra for razors or shaving cream and so much more. £30 for contraceptives is beyond a joke, it’s disgusting and misogynistic. 

Are we living in 1917 or 2017?  have forgotten, you know…my female brain isn’t capable of knowing the year never mind taking control of my own health.

Pull your act together Boots, follow the lead of other stores and listen to the public! 

Don’t stop the tweets, the emails, the petitions until they change this!
Jeeze…

-Hidden Shadows

Crime · Politics

Women Recieve Harsher Punishments than Men in the Justice System

No one wants to acknowledge it but it’s there. It’s not sexist or discriminatory to say that men commit more crimes, it’s fact. Men are a lot more likely to commit crimes in their life than women.  The crimes women do commit are usually things like theft, and the most common reasons are for their family. For example, a woman is more likely to steal a wallet to feed her family. A man is more likely to commit a violent crime. It’s just fact.

Women are a minority in the prison system making up only 5% in the UK! The reason is women just don’t commit crime as often as men. 

So, women usually commit crime for their family and are a lot less likely to reoffend than men. So why are women recieving tougher sentences?

Let’s say a man robs a store.

Then a woman robs a store. 

The woman is a lot more likely to receive a longer sentence than the man. Why?

The reasons have been speculated, the main one being that the justice system wants to look tough on women as so few are arrested. Therefore an example must be made to deter other women from crime.

Another example, bail is set at the same amount the man would get, HOWEVER, for women the system does not look at the woman’s background.

Do they have children (women are most usually the main care giver)? Do they have a job? 

Times are changing, but still it is more common for a man to have a job and a woman to be a stay at home mother. Men get out on bail more than women because they usually have jobs and a lot of women have to support themselves and their children.

Prison is supposed to be about reform. If you rob someone and get sentenced, you should come out and be able to return to society. The prison system is not doing this. Prisoners are more likely to reoffend rather than integrate into the community. There is a lack of funding and overcrowding. Rather than being rehabilitated, money is being wasted locking then up over and over and over again.

The whole system is in need of reform.

  • Funding
  • Programmes such as education
  • Background history when sentencing and setting bail.

We need to focus on getting people in a good place, reducing crime rather than being tough on it.

Every time I hear the government say “we will be tough on crime!” I sigh. They’re relying on you to vote for them because the majority like the sound of tough on crime. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that being tough on crime won’t help in the long term. It’s just going to cost us more.

Drug users for example, they should be sent to a rehab facility not prison. They don’t need punished for an addiction, they need help.

Drug dealers however should be sentenced and while in prison they should be being rehabilitated. Given help to get jobs when they leave rather than turning back to dealing.

It’s all corrupt, especially in the USA, it makes me so angry but anger won’t help. Reform will. Please educate yourselves on the topic, it’s quite interesting to learn about too 🙂 though I would say that, I am studying Forensic Psych.

Have a nice day/night

-Hidden Shadows

Mental Health

Faking Depression

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you may know I am very wary of people who say they have depression or anxiety. There is a cause to this.

I had a friend. We would text every single day. We did this from 2012-January 2017. He would mainly talk through text and not so much in person to me. 

The story is, he’d tell me he had depression. He would say things like he wanted to date me, but when I said I’m not interested he would say things like

“everyon hates him.” , “No one loves me.” , “No one wants to date me.”

He had some girls who told him that they like him, and I would remind him that he had turned them down. If he found out I was talking to other people, he would become very possessive and stop texting as much. You could tell he was mad, even through texts. I found him very controlling and we weren’t even dating, just friends!

He would tell me he was suicidal, cuts himself, depressed. Then I’d see him, and he’d be winding people up, laughing with friends he said he doesn’t have, and just acting normal. He even jidged people who said they had mental illness (I get this may have just been projecting his own feelings towards himself). One day, I asked him in person and said “I thought you were depressed.” He replied with… “I lied.” But even after this his texts would tell me he was depressed.

He once blocked me for 2 months because I couldn’t text that day. He only got back in contact when he found out I was talking to one of his friends.

This has turned into a bit of a ramble. But he would threaten to kill himself if I ever stopped talking to him, we would argue a lot and it made me feel so down. He lowered my confidence, self esteem and mood. He would blow up my phone and I would ignore it for as long as I could.

Fact is, maybe he is depressed AND needs the attention (nothing wrong with wanting attention). But when he told me he lied, it made me lose any trust in him. I blocked him 2017, I couldn’t cope anymore. I said my goodbyes, gave my reasons and he said “Okay.” He never cared about me the way I cared about him. 5 years of my life I dedicated. I still check his social media, and he looks fine overall. If he does have a mental illness, I hope he gets the help he needs. He has a lot of support around him despite what he would tell me. 

My point is, if you are telling people you have a mental illness just for the attention, then please stop. It doesn’t just get you attention but it also has huge effects on the people close to you.

By pretending you’re also adding to the stigma meaning when someone really does have a mental illness, they’re going to be ignored and labelled as attention seekers.

Think about what you’re doing.

-Hidden Shadows.

Politics

My thoughts on Brexit

On June 23rd 2016 the UK population woke up, left their homes and placed their votes. 

Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?

52% of the population voted leave.

48% of the population voted stay.

Whether I am happy with the result or not, there is one thing that really bothers me. We agreed with this vote. We said, “Yes, let’s all vote on it and not leave it to our government to decide for us.” Leave won. Now all I see is people calling for a new vote. 

We had a vote. Don’t you understand what democracy is? If we just did votes everytime someone didn’t get their own way then all hell would break loose.

We have to respect the decision the population made. 

“Some people didn’t vote.” Well that’s a shame, but they had their chance.

To be honest, I’m not happy we voted leave. I would have rather stayed. Does that mean I want another vote? No. That would mean we are not truly living in a democracy.

We are leaving. So the best thing to do, the best thing for our country, is to start voicing what we want from Brexit. Complaining about it won’t help us, its too late for that now. We need to come together now to help make sure our government doesn’t screw us over.

There is another thing that bothers me also. The hate leave voters received. They have been branded as racists and fascists. My family voted leave. Why? Honestly immigration was a factor. With a crippling NHS, no houses, a rise of homeless people living on the streets, they worried about how our country would be able to sustain more people. We are an island after all. Other factors were how much we had to contribute to other countries in the EU, a lack of control on our laws and borders. We need to stand together not argue. What’s done is done.

Canada and the USA, along with many other HUGE countries, already want to make trade deals with us for when we leave. I think in the end it will work out. Our country will pull itself back together like we always do and we will stand with our heads held high.

Don’t spread hate, no matter what you voted. Come together, respect eachother and be the great people of Britain I know we are. Have a cup of tea 🙂 

-Hidden Shadows